Get Ready for the Cruise of a Lifetime
Lifestyle cruises and vacations are increasingly popular as a new generation of young people starts to explore the possibilities of a lifestyle that’s practiced by as many as 15 million Americans. Whether it’s a lifestyle cruise or a week at an adult beach resort, a vacation can be a great way to get involved in swinging for the first time. Remember, however, that while there’s a certain freedom associated with swinging, there are definitely rules that need to be followed to make it all work.
A lot of people have a lot of misconceptions about the swinging lifestyle. To the uninitiated, it seems like it’s just an excuse to have sex with multiple partners outside of a relationship, but practicing swingers know it’s more than that. Swinging is not necessarily one partner in a relationship having sex with other people—it’s more often about both partners enjoying erotic encounters with others, whether it’s having sex with your partner in front of an audience, watching your partner having sex, or even just you and your partner watching others.
While some think that couples who swing are doing it because their relationship isn’t fulfilling, it’s typically the exact opposite—a couple who wants to swing has to have a strong relationship if both partners are to enjoy their experiences. What this means is, if you and your partner are thinking about it, you must both be certain that it’s what you want. As well as this, if you’re jumping in for the first time it’s important to understand the rules and conventions that need to be followed, to make sure it’s a safe and pleasurable experience for you and your partner.
Open and Honest Communication is Paramount
Communication is important in any relationship, but it’s absolutely vital to the health of your partnership if you decide to try swinging. Both partners need to be honest about what they want from each other and from swinging encounters, and about their comfort and enjoyment levels during and afterwards.
Setting and Respecting Boundaries
One of the reasons that swinging works is that it’s understood that everyone has the right to say no to an encounter they don’t want to take part in. If someone approaches you, and you and your partner are not interested, you can say no, with no further explanation. Equally true, if you approach another couple and they’re not interested, they can say no, with no further explanation required. The “no” should always be accepted and respected—it’s a refusal, not a challenge or an invitation to pursuit.
Of course, this goes for all sex, whether in the swinging community or not, but for people who are new to swinging, it’s important to understand that boundaries still exist, and must be respected. It’s just that those boundaries are in different places than they might be for a non-swinging couple.
Consent should be Enthusiastic and Ongoing
The flip side of the right to refuse is the importance of consent. Consent is vital aspect, and it’s not enough to get consent at the start of an encounter. Ongoing consent is just as important. Anyone involved in an encounter should feel comfortable about taking part, and has the right to say no to any particular activity, and to stop at any time if they’re not enjoying it.
If something makes you uncomfortable, don’t feel like you have to keep going—it’s okay to step out of an encounter if it stops being fun, and you’re not obligated to continue past the point of enjoyment.
Clean and Safe Sex
It’s an unfortunate fact that when you have multiple sexual partners, you’re at an increased risk of contracting a sexually-transmitted infection. Practicing safe sex is extremely important, no matter what the occasion or the environment, and it’s pretty much expected by the community that everyone will do so. Condoms or dental dams are therefore expected for any type of genital contact.
The second aspect of this is cleanliness, which along with courtesy and respect is an important foundation of successful swinging. Any time where you expect (or hope) to have an erotic encounter, you should be scrupulously clean and dressed to impress.
Sources
Article written by Susie Holland
Erotic Pleasures, Inc. “Swinger Party Etiquette.” Accessed April 1, 2014. Rules for social occasions.
Ian Kerner. “Would You Ever Swing?” Accessed April 1, 2014.
Rachel Rabbit White. “Girl Talk: My First Orgy.” Accessed April 1, 2014.
STD Panels. “STD Risk Factors.” Accessed April 1, 2014. Safe sex and STD prevention.
The Lifesyle Houston. “Swinger Etiquette.” Accessed April 1, 2014. Advice on being a courteous participant.
Tristan Taormino. “Naughty in N’awlins.” Accessed April 1, 2014. N’awlins in November swinger’s convention review.
The Singles Guide. “Swingers 101: Joining in on the Excitement as a Newbie.” Accessed April 1, 2014. Tips for first-timers.
